Fright

I rode a reclining bicycle for ten minutes today.

My PT is pushing me a bit lately. That's good, because I'm building strength and confidence, but I still have a residual, radiating fear of movement. My prior PT worked within a philosophy that included locking the spine in a neutral position, and while this is effective in the short term - particularly after surgical trauma - it has become ingrained in my muscles and mind, preventing me from recovering fully.

My former personality was such that I threw myself into things passionately and deliberately. However, having spent a year literally holding myself together, I approach life with an entirely new attitude that includes both ergonomic precision and tight fear. The latter is something I don't understand, because it is an emotion I have never let in. Now, though, I doubt myself. It is a difficult instinct to overcome.

But, today I rode a reclined bicycle for ten minutes. Cool.

photo credit: http://www.thedeafblog.co.uk/Bionic%20eye.jpg